Important Lessons from My Two-Year Old

"No, Mommy, I CAN'T do it! You do it for me!" Jackson can be heard screaming this at least 100 times a day. I usually just glance over and say, "Yes you can, just try." Eventually, we both get frustrated after we argue this a thousand times and I end up doing it for him; shaking my head in disgrace because I just helped him be helpless.

I have been reading a book called, Our Dance With God by Karyn Kedar, and the book is a wonderful look into how we are with God. And how that should be how we are in our daily lives. The catch? How am I with God? Am I patient and understanding? Am I loving? Am I respectful? The answer is most always a resounding, "NO!" I strive for explanations of events; explanations for the way I feel, but there is no explanation. I blame, I am impatient and I am not loving. The simple fact of the matter is that I choose how I feel, how I act and my thoughts. I can choose hope and faith instead of demanding an explanation. I can choose love and patience.

Despite my seemingly sunny disposition, I hide a lot of fear, hopelessness and helplessness. I carry a bright smile, but I worry, too much, and never show it. I tend to think positively for others, but look at things for myself with an eye of hopelessness; claiming, much like my son, that "I CAN'T do it. YOU do it for me."

This most assuredly leads me to the rocks and bumps on my journey. My goal? I am turning those bumps and rocks into stepping stones. I will be lead where I will, but I must remember that because of this journey on which I am embarking, God will give me grace in my struggles, mercy in my failings, and, above all, great love. I am loved. Most likely, when I remember these things, my two-year old will see that and say, "I CAN." And he will, because I will show him grace in his struggles, mercy in his failings, and, above all, great love.