Wishful Thinking?

As a child, I would tend to get lost in my thoughts. I would spend inordinate amounts of time just pondering, imagining, just plain thinking. I would imagine stories I would write, songs I would sing, things I would do; I would think about injustices, i.e. it's NOT fair that SHE gets to do x,y and z, but I HAVE to clean my room? I  would think about what I wanted to be when I grew up or what I even where I wanted to be in 10 years.

I have lost the ability to lose myself in thought. I have forgotten the beauty of the inner workings of my mind. I have taken time forgranted. I suppose that it is one of the main reasons that I started this blog. I am forcing myself to take time to think and, most importantly, reflect.

I awake at 5 am, the sky still dark, the air thick and heavy, but with a slight chill. The stars twinkling above with peaceful twinklings. For at least another hour, the world is still. No cars starting, doors slamming, and no children awake; my little world is at rest. It is the perfect time for me to be awake, without having to do, rather, I am only to be. I read for a while and then, I just sit and think. Sometimes my mind focuses on the reading that I did, but, more often than not, it just plays Scattergories. Then, when ready, I can focus and reflect.

Sometimes, I can sit and reflect until 7 am, other times, like this morning, one or both of my children wake up and need something a bit earlier than 7. I have come to realize, that my reflections do not need to stop when they are awake, but, in fact, will help me guide them in their own personal journeys. My children will have enough time in their lives to be quizzed, to be tested, to develop the "rational" parts of their minds, but will they ever have enough to sit in silent reflection with the inner workings of the self? Perhaps not, especially when they do not know that you CAN do that and it is OKAY. My job on these mornings, is to center all of us, to light a candle and watch the flame as we focus thoughts, to find the sunrise, to just imagine what is in store for us on this particular day. Most importantly, this time is used for me to show my children the importance of taking time to move slowly, to talk softly, to think and reflect without judgment, and imagine with abandon!